Award for Senator Elisha Abbo

He was never too young to run. And he ran to represent the good people of Adamawa North senatorial district under the Umbrella party, the PDP. A fairly young blood at 41, going by the average age of a Nigerian senator. Elisha Abbo thus became the youngest senator of the 9th Assembly. I reckon he must have a strong bonding with his people. He also must be a strong brand in his district to have won the senatorial election with an APC governor in charge. For this, I salute him.

But my adoration ends there. As it has turned out, Elisha is a man-beast. He is a spoilt brat undeserving of the badge of a senator, a lawmaker. He does not deserve respect. He demeans humanity, not just womanhood. Elisha was caught on video violently battering a lady in a sex toy shop in Abuja sometime in March this year. By his own admission, he is a friend of the lady shop attendant. He was obviously pissed by the conduct of his friend who, as the story goes, referenced him and his bevy of girls whom he shooed into the shop to make some purchases as drunk. One of the lady friends of the senator was said to have puked right inside the shop, prompting the show attendant to infer drunkenness.

To our young senator, this was infra dig. How dare you tag the lady friend of a distinguished senator as drunk? Such impudence! Elisha was riled. As a good guy and to be seen as such, he rose to defend his woman. He cannot stand the insolence of a sex toy shop runner calling his treasure drunk. A good man must defend his woman. Elisha, the good guy, decided to do just that: defend his jewel. But in doing that, he crossed the borderline of reason. He slapped, repeatedly, the lady friend of the shop attendant whose only ‘offence’ was asking another brute who badged into the shop with our young senator to ‘take it easy’ when the enthusiastic monster forcibly tried to snatch the shop attendant’s phone as she frantically and frightfully made a call to someone to report that the senator had returned to the shop with a policeman.

Elisha, the swinish senator, brutally assaulted a lady in a public place, a shop, in the presence of a policeman and other persons of diminished ego. I wager that as the brute of a senator pounded the poor, hapless lady, his monstrously vile action did not sit well with the men who accompanied him to that shop. But they were helpless. Elisha is a senator of the Federal Republic. He moves about with police orderly. He cruises around town in a small convoy which includes an escort car, usually an SUV. He is the one with access to cheap, easy money.

Nigerian public office is a place of easy means, easy wealth and easy virtues. Presidents, Governors, senators and others get away with murder. They are tin gods in a conquered territory called Nigeria. So, they play god. Elisha played god in one moment of madness. He even threatened to “close down” the shop. And, yes, he could still have done so. He could order the police to lock up both the battered lady and the shop attendant. And heaven won’t fall. The police would keenly oblige him. The policeman that accompanied Elisha to that shop made no effort to restrain the boar of a senator in his moment of bovine insanity.

No matter the provocation, Elisha has no right to slap that woman or anybody for that matter. Elisha has spent barely one month as a senator but he’s already trending. He’s trending in reverse order; as a vile man of virulently vicious temperament. He’s trending as a woman batterer, as Nigeria’s Most Beastly Senator. Such award is reserved for scoundrels and rascally villains. This is the award fit for Elisha.

Sadly, Elisha has a good name. The Biblical Elisha was a good prophet who exerted both spiritual and political influence over four kings in the 9th Century BC Israel. He was a man of honour, a miracle worker who did much good in his time. He lived the essence of his name which means ‘My God is salvation’. But Elisha Abbo is not a man of honour. He is a bad advert for the senate, for Nigeria, for humanity. A man who could repeatedly hit a woman, a nursing mother for that matter, pointblank on her face and elsewhere, lacks manners. The Biblical Elisha was a man of good deeds; Elisha Abbo is a man of bad acts. He is a boorish hooligan who deserves a place in the gulag.

The Senate ought to be a hallowed chamber where decent humans congregate to aggregate views, opinions and ideas. Nigerian senators have long added the prefix ‘Distinguished’ to their names. The word distinguished connotes nobility, prominence and outstanding character. It connotes good. But not so for Elisha. He has only distinguished himself as uncultured and wild.

No matter his defence, no matter his feigned contrition, he deserves a place in the courtroom. He has earned a date with the law. He has worked hard enough to be arrested and prosecuted by the police. The world is watching us. The police should hasten the process. On the merit of the video, which assaults the sensibilities of humanity, the Inspector General of Police, Mohammed Adamu, has ordered a thorough inquest. Very commendable. Elisha should be made to pick the medical bill and sundry expenses of the battered lady.

I wish Elisha knew what damage he has done to the psyche of Nigerians, especially women. Henceforth, they would be seeing politicians from President Muhammadu Buhari to their governors through the blurred prism of Elisha. They will see every politician as a potential woman-beater. While the police do its part, the Senate must rise above the halo of esprit de corps and chastise Elisha for being both ‘unsenatorial and undistinguished’. He deserves no protection. He deserves a rebuke.

One fundamental the police should try to establish in the course of investigation is whether Elisha is into something or whether something is into him. Was he under the influence of anything? Under normal condition, I do not expect a grown, supposedly literate and exposed person to conduct himself in the manner Elisha raged inside a shop. This Elisha needs help. I’m sure he underrated the smartness of Nigerians who have now installed all manner of cameras in their homes, offices and cars. But again, he needs help. The law should help him find a place in the court of law and potentially in prison.

If Elisha were one poor man, the police would be quick to charge him with assault and battery. The same swiftness and efficiency should be applied in the case of Elisha to help him regain his sanity, probably in the cold cell of a prison. He deserves such treatment and help. Much more, he deserves his weird award as Nigeria’s Most Beastly Senator. He would be proud of such trophy coming less than 30 days after his inauguration as senator. Congratulations Elisha, the man-beast.

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